Nikaido's Dick-Throbbin Adventure
by thehitachiinbrothers
Summary: Next time on Shugo Chara: Nikaido finds the Embryo! Its a race against time to stop him!


**Nikaido's Dick-throbbin Adventure**  
Ambling along the streets, NIkaido was an employee of Easter, the Mass corporation bent on finding the mysterious Embryo. " Damn Kids", he said,NIkaido was a big jerk wad who disliked kids and was bitter because he has erectile dysfunction And his now ex-girlfriend left him for a better man. The kids he was refering to were the Guardians, a group of children with Guardians characters.

However the member that caught his eye was Amu Hinamori, the JOker. The pink haired something year old was the Joker of the group. The team's "wild card" because she posessed three guardian characters. Bitcch face sensei grimaced. All his attempts to locate the embryo had been shattered because of them. As he walked further he heard a familiar voice coming from one of the nearby houses. "Ran, Miki, Sue stop!" The girl shouted.  
"Amu" Yuu muttered, if only he could get the embryo, then he could be finished being GAAY.

But then an idea formed.

Approximately 1:40 am, Nikaido climbed into the girl's room. He had a bag with him, inside the bag was a knife and a plastic bag.  
He peered at the young girl sleeping, her breathing deep and soft. He took a knife and CUT HIS FUCKING HIPPIE HAIR AND FASHIONED A TRADITIONAL ROPE FROM IT.  
He grabbed her wrists and tied her up. She jolted awake and was about to scream when he shoved an egg in her fucking mouth. Her eyes widened and she said what could only be percieved as a string of incredulous exclamations such as "NIKAIDO SENSEI" or "HOLY SHIT" or "AN EGG? WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Yuu brought his hand to her face and ran it down her smooth baby skin. He took her head and both hands and smashed it against his. Amu's eyes fluttered, and her head lolled, and she fell back peaceful. Little did Amu know that Nikaido had replaced his os frontis with a plat of industrial grade steel.

He walked to the door and locked it to guarantee no one would turned to the unconcious girl, and stepped forward and rummaged through his took out the bag and laid it beside Amu's pillow. Yuu grabbed the knife and examined the girl, looking for the best place to make the incision.  
Under the ribs would be too high, and right at her crotch would be too low. After careful consideration he decided to cut from below the naval to the top of her crotch. Nikaido inched up her top and placed the tip of the knife to her skin.

Carefully he cut the flesh, slicing through the thin layer of fat and muscle. One incision done he worked on the next two, so he could peel away the tissue to expose her ovum. He was almost done, the third cut until he realised the blood was too slippery to grip.  
He looked around and finally he saw a box of tissues. He grabbed a handful, hoping to use them to stanch the flow of blood. But as soon as he felt the soft thin paper between his fingertips memories came back to him. Nights spent in front of the hollow glow of the computer screen.

He couldn't control himself anymore, he undid his pants and grasped his hardening shaft and began to jack it with such ferocity that it could be heard from across the globe. After he came into a puddle of the young girl's blood he went back to work.  
He grabbed a new tissue and gripped the fatty folds of skins and peeled them back with the unexpected gentleness of a man whom had just jacked it. The smell of the ironized blood filled his nostrils and he felt his stomach churn slightly,but still he pressed. After a minute of searching he found it, the prize he'd been looking for. Her ovaries.

Nikaido tittered and grabbed the knife. HE gripped the fallopian tube and sliced it off the uterus, doing th same with the other. he had to hurry, even though Amu was knocked out, he was sure when shed came to which could be at any moment shed scream in agony, the intense feeling of her ovaries gone, the pressuring and overwhelming warmness of internal bleeding which had turned not so internal. AT least she didnt have to experience premenstrual cramps anymore, Yuu shrugged. He shoved the tiny child ovaries in the plastic bag and zipped it shut.  
He was about to take a trip out her window and back into the streets, but he realised that he needed to do one more unlocked Amu's door and headed down the staircase at the end of the hall and into the kitchen on the first floor. He popped open the freezer and scanned it for a moment before his eyes caught what he had been looking for. He took the ice cube tray and smacked it on the counter, loosening the frozen water inside within and flipping it upside down to pour the contents into the plastic bag containing the internal organs. His task now fully completed he left casually through the front door.

Nikaido exited the neighborhood and ran to the Easter building as fast as his skinny bitch legs could take him. "Hello! Yes I need an meeting with the CHairman as fast as possible! I have the Embryo!" Yuu was rushed to the Chairman's office. A geriatric man sat at the stared at Nikaido and asked him to take a seat.

"So what's this about the embryo?" CHairman asked. Nikaido began telling the chairman his life story,starting with his dreams as a child, his ex, and his balding problem. "Finally," he said," I present to you the Embryo." The Chairman leant over his desk to get a closer look. The only reaction he begot was a look of genuine disgust and horror. THe Chairman yelled at him to get out of his office and to leave the Easter Company with his "rubbish supposed Embryo and his smartass antics."

~2 months later~

Nikaido crouched inside a cardboard box in the red lights district, he hugged his knees and puffed out cold breaths. There was a tapping of heels that came to a halt once they stood in front of his.  
"Yuu?" Called a familiar voice, Nikaido not sensei peered up to see his bitch of an ex.  
He smiled up at her. "Yo, Yukari."  
"Yuu, what are you doing here?"  
"Not much." He laughed, before reaching into his back pocket."Here I want you to have something, a parting gift from me."  
He put out his clamped hand and opened was a packet of a cold white viscous content. He smirked.

"Guaranteed to have brown hair and brown eyes"


End file.
